Make Friends: Be Pleasant!
Most of us want to be liked, yet when relationships are difficult, we often look for techniques, advice columns, podcasts, or the latest self-help wisdom. It’s great to learn practical skills—but Christian, have you ever searched the Bible to learn how to make and keep friends? Scripture doesn’t begin with clever strategies; it begins with kindness, grace, and love that reflect the heart of God.
To watch some Christians grumble, complain, shout, erupt at the slightest provocation, or be otherwise unpleasant, you’d think that winning friends or cultivating healthy relationships were not Christian virtues.
Sure, we all have bad days—I do! But some people think “keeping it real” means they must speak “their truth” by saying whatever’s on their mind, no matter how blunt or harsh; confusing their opinions with God’s Truth. I’ve even heard someone excuse their bad behavior by saying, “people without Jesus are sinners headed for hell, so my actions don’t matter.”
That mindset is heartbreaking! Jesus wants both you and that person you’re having trouble with to experience his friendship, his forgiveness, his mercy and his favor—and to treat each other in the same way he has treated you because grace changes people. God’s Truth is, “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8) and we learn love by being loved by God, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19).
The Apostle Paul wrote, “Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?” (Romans 2:4).
Proverbs 3:3-4 NIV instructs, “Let love and faithfulness [truth] never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.”
God wants you to be liked and to win friends for the right reasons: to lead people to Jesus without becoming an obstacle to their salvation.
You ask, “Is “my truth” not important? Isn’t it more genuine for me just blurt out what I think or feel and let others sort it out?”
No.
Christian, Jesus commands us to lay down “our truth” and die to our selfish behavior by treating other people with love and patience. “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:12-13 ESV).
It’s God’s kindness—his desire for you, and me and others, to respond favorably to him—that leads us to repent, to change, to become his friend. the Bible mentions God’s “grace” and “favor” over 315 times! It’s a big deal—God wants people to experience his grace through you!
When relationships feel strained, remember: Grace first. Truth kindly. Jesus foremost, always.
Today, make friends by being pleasant.
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